NO, FREEDOM ISN'T FREE....all of us are blessed to live in the good ole USA...hopefully everybody will remember to be thankful!

I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO

THE FLAG, OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA ,

AND TO THE REPUBLIC, FOR WHICH IT STANDS,

ONE NATION UNDER GOD, INDIVISIBLE, WITH LIBERTY

AND JUSTICE FOR ALL!

For all of our other military personnel, where ever they may be.
Please Support all of the troops defending our Country.

And God Bless our Military who are protecting our Country for our Freedom.
Thanks to them, and their sacrifices, we can celebrate the 4th of July.

We must never forget who gets the credit for the freedoms we have,
of which we should be eternally grateful.
I watched the flag pass by one day.
It fluttered in the breeze.

A young Marine saluted it,
And then he stood at ease.
I looked at him in uniform;
so young, so tall, so proud.
With hair cut square and eyes alert,
he'd stand out in any crowd.

I thought how many men like him
had fallen through the years.
How many died on foreign soil;
how many mothers' tears?

How many pilots' planes shot down?
How many died at sea?
How many foxholes were soldiers' graves?

NO, FREEDOM ISN'T FREE!

I heard the sound of Taps one night,
when everything was still.
I listened to the bugler play
And felt a sudden chill.

I wondered just how many times
That Taps had meant 'Amen.'
When a flag had draped a coffin
of a brother or a friend

I thought of all the children,
of the mothers and the wives,
of fathers, sons and husbands
With interrupted lives.

I thought about a graveyard
At the bottom of the sea.
Of unmarked graves in Arlington .

NO FREEDOM ISN'T FREE!

Enjoy Your Freedom and God Bless Our Troops.

When you read this, please stop for a moment and say a prayer for our servicemen.

Of all the gifts you could give a U.S. Soldier, prayer is the very best one.

3 Bible Translations of PSALM 23

Psalm 23 Contemporary English Version (CEV) A Psalm by David.

The Good Shepherd

1You, LORD, are my shepherd. I will never be in need.

2You let me rest in fields of green grass. You lead me to streams of peaceful water,

3and you refresh my life. You are true to your name, and you lead me along the right paths.

4I may walk through valleys as dark as death, but I won't be afraid. You are with me, and your shepherd's rod [a] makes me feel safe.

5You treat me to a feast, while my enemies watch. You honor me as your guest, and you fill my cup until it overflows.

6Your kindness and love will always be with me each day of my life, and I will live forever in your house, LORD

Footnotes: [a] Psalm 23:4 shepherd's rod: The Hebrew text mentions two objects carried by the shepherd: a club to defend against wild animals and a long pole to guide and control the sheep.

Psalm 23 The Message (MSG) A David Psalm

1-3 GOD, my shepherd! I don't need a thing.

You have bedded me down in lush meadows, you find me quiet pools to drink from.

True to your word, you let me catch my breath and send me in the right direction.

4 Even when the way goes through Death Valley, I'm not afraid when you walk at my side.

Your trusty shepherd's crook makes me feel secure.

5 You serve me a six-course dinner right in front of my enemies. You revive my drooping head; my cup brims with blessing.

6 Your beauty and love chase after me every day of my life. I'm back home in the house of GOD for the rest of my life.

Psalm 23 New American Standard Bible (NASB) A Psalm of David.

The LORD, the Psalmist’s Shepherd.

1 The LORD is my (A)shepherd, I [a]shall (B)not want.

2 He makes me lie down in (C)green pastures; He (D)leads me beside [b](E)quiet waters.

3 He (F)restores my soul; He (G)guides me in the [c](H)paths of righteousness For His name’s sake.

4 Even though I (I)walk through the [d]valley of the shadow of death, I (J)fear no [e]evil, for (K)You are with me; Your (L)rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

5 You (M)prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You [f]have (N)anointed my head with oil; My (O)cup overflows.

6 [g]Surely (P)goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life, And I will [h](Q)dwell in the house of the LORD [i]forever.

Footnotes:

a. Psalm 23:1 Or do

b. Psalm 23:2 Lit waters of rest

c. Psalm 23:3 Lit tracks

d. Psalm 23:4 Or valley of deep darkness

e. Psalm 23:4 Or harm

f. Psalm 23:5 Or anoint

g. Psalm 23:6 Or Only

h. Psalm 23:6 Another reading is return to

i. Psalm 23:6 Lit for length of days

Cross references:

A. Psalm 23:1 : Ps 78:52; 80:1; Is 40:11; Jer 31:10; Ezek 34:11-13; John 10:11; 1 Pet 2:25

B. Psalm 23:1 : Ps 34:9, 10; Phil 4:19

C. Psalm 23:2 : Ps 65:11-13; Ezek 34:14

D. Psalm 23:2 : Rev 7:17

E. Psalm 23:2 : Ps 36:8; 46:4

F. Psalm 23:3 : Ps 19:7

G. Psalm 23:3 : Ps 5:8; 31:3

H. Psalm 23:3 : Ps 85:13; Prov 4:11; 8:20

I. Psalm 23:4 : Job 10:21, 22; Ps 107:14

J. Psalm 23:4 : Ps 3:6; 27:1

K. Psalm 23:4 : Ps 16:8; Is 43:2

L. Psalm 23:4 : Mic 7:14

M. Psalm 23:5 : Ps 78:19

N. Psalm 23:5 : Ps 92:10; Luke 7:46

O. Psalm 23:5 : Ps 16:5

P. Psalm 23:6 : Ps 25:7, 10

Q. Psalm 23:6 : Ps 27:4-6

JAILS AND NURSING HOMES..........

Personally, I think this is GREAT IDEA!!!!!....

Here's the way it should be:

Let's put the seniors in jail and the criminals in nursing homes.

This would correct two things in one motion:

Seniors would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.

They would receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs, etc.

They would receive money instead of having to pay it out.

They would have constant video monitoring, so they would be helped instantly...if they fell or needed assistance.

Bedding would be washed twice a week and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.

A guard would check on them every 20 minutes.

All meals and snacks would be brought to them.

They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose. They would have access to a library, weight/fitness room, spiritual counseling, a pool and education...and free admission to in-house concerts by nationally recognized entertainment artists.

Simple clothing - i.e…shoes, slippers, PJ's - and legal aid would be free, upon request. There would be private, secure rooms provided for all with an outdoor exercise yard complete with gardens.

Each senior would have a P.C., T.V., phone and radio in their room at no cost.

They would receive daily phone calls.

There would be a board of directors to hear any complaints and the ACLU would fight for their rights and protection.

The guards would have a code of conduct to be strictly adhered to, with attorneys available, at no charge to protect the seniors and their families from abuse or neglect.

As for the criminals: They would receive cold food.

They would be left alone and unsupervised.

They would receive showers once a week.

They would live in tiny rooms, for which they would have to pay $5,000 per month.

They would have no hope of ever getting out.

"SOUNDS LIKE JUSTICE TO ME!"

7 WORDS/SOUNDS that remind me of Keith…..



"ACAPPELLA"… he sang in a group named this when he attended Freed-Hardeman College in Henderson, Tennessee, also this was the manner in which the group sang. [Acappella music is specifically solo or group singing without instrumental sound]

“DIP”…was his only cuss word!

I believe in the almost 22 years of our marriage that I can honestly say that I only heard him one time maybe twice say something other than “dip”, which I can’t say that about myself or most folks that I know or have known!


“FIREWORKS”…he was a fireworks wholesaler when we got married in January 1989…the boys and I helped him some at his Millbrook warehouse and watched numerous firework shows he put on for us privately!


“GNATVILLE”…a community located in Cherokee County, Alabama at latitude 33.995 and longitude -85.676 where Keith’s maternal grandparents grew up and lived their entire lives. He spent much time there as a small child. A place where his granddaddy and Uncle Arlen taught him how to drive a tractor, hunt and fish!


“PIEDMONT”… a “Mayberry”-his small hometown located in Calhoun County, Alabama, the northeast part of the state…a place me and my boys never visited until 1989 when I married Keith…instead of a Floyd, it had a “Mr. Curtis” who owned the corner barber shop where our 4 boys got their summer haircuts for several years!  The Andy Griffith Show was one of his long-time old favorite television shows.


“WHIPPOORWILL”…he loved to hear this bird calling around our home at dusk during the spring and summer months…I’ve been hearing them every night for several weeks now as I sit out in my front porch rocker!

Overview -Whip-poor-will: Medium-sized nightjar with gray-brown-black mottled upper-parts and pale gray-black under-parts. Throat is black; eyebrows and neckband are white. Tail is long and rounded with large white corner patches. Brown legs and feet. Erratic moth-like flight, flies close to the ground at night.
Range and Habitat-Whip-poor-will: Breeds from Saskatchewan and Maritime Provinces south to Kansas, northern Louisiana, and northern Georgia, and in Arizona, New Mexico, and western Texas. Spends winters in Florida and along the Gulf Coast southward to Panama. Prefers open woodlands with well-spaced trees.

SONGS AND CALLS-"WHIP-poor- WEEA” www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXwoHqjO3lA

INTERESTING FACTS
• A group of whip-poor-wills are collectively known as an "invisibility" and a "seek" of whip-poor-wills.
• The record number of calls in a row by a single bird is 1,088, perhaps accounting for their species name, vociferous.
• The Whip-poor-will lays its eggs so they hatch about 10 days before a full moon. This allows the adults to forage the entire night, and so best provide the nestlings with insects.
• They fly around livestock at dusk to feed on insects swarming over the animals. It was once believed that they sucked milk from goats' udders and caused them to dry up; hence their family name, Caprimulgidae, from the Latin Capri and mulgus, meaning "goat-milker."
• Because of its nocturnal habits, the Whip-poor-will is infrequently seen. Its cryptic coloring keeps it hidden during the day, too. However, its loud calling at dusk makes it well known wherever it breeds.


“LAST BUT NOT LEAST”…..


“INTEGRITY”…his grave marker has the following engraved upon it:


J. Keith McAlister, Man of Integrity…

Keith left some very BIG shoes for his two sons to fill even though he only wore a size 9 shoe.  I truly don’t believe they will ever understand what those 3 words actually mean that's written as their daddy's epithet but hopefully in time they will finally grow up and strive to acquire this quality like their daddy would have wanted them to do. Keith loved this word “integrity” and did maintain this quality the entire time I knew him...I know for a fact it's another goal he accomplished before he left this earth! 

1. Integrity is the Possession of Firm Principles – the quality of possessing and steadfastly adhering to high moral principles or professional standards

2. Integrity is Completeness – the state of being complete or undivided

3. Integrity is Wholeness – the state of being sound or undamaged.

PHILLIPIANS 4:8

...whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things. 

Drue L. Rutherford Jr. Obituary: View Drue Rutherford's Obituary by Mobile Register

Drue L. Rutherford Jr. Obituary: View Drue Rutherford's Obituary by Mobile Register

Crystal Shea Rutherford Paulk’s (my daughter-in-law) grandfather Drue L. Rutherford Jr.

RUTHERFORD, Drue L., Jr. - an 89 year-old native of Bolivar Co., MS, raised in Jackson, MS, and resident of Mobile for 50 years, passed away Wednesday, June 1, 2011. He retired from the City of Mobile after many years of service and also served as an engineer for local television station WALA and local radio station WUNI. Mr. Rutherford was a World War II veteran of the United States Army Air Corps during which he was stationed in Brazil as a staff sergeant with the 101st Army Airways Communication Systems Squadron. He was a longtime member of Orchard Baptist Church. He was preceded in death by his wife, Willetta Thompson Rutherford; parents, Drue L. Rutherford and Mary Wilson Rutherford; and sisters, Martha Jean Ellison and Sara Jane Hyatt. Mr. Rutherford is survived by his sons, Drue L. Rutherford, III (Lucretia) and James M. Rutherford (Marilyn); granddaughters, Crystal Rutherford Paulk (Bret) and Whitney E. Rutherford; step-grandsons, Dave Spurlock, Eddie Spurlock, and John Spurlock all of Mobile, and Lewis Dean Carlisle of Colorado Springs, CO; six great-grandchildren; other relatives and friends. Funeral services will be held from the chapel of Radney Funeral Home in Mobile on Saturday, June 4, 2011, at 10 a.m. The family will receive friends beginning at 9 a.m. Interment will be in Springhill Memorial Gardens. Condolences may be offered at www.radneyfuneralhome-mobile.com. Arrangements by:
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His Journey’s Just Begun

Don’t think of him as gone away – his journey’s just begun, life holds so many facets – this earth is only one.

Just think of him as resting from the sorrows and the tears in a place of warmth and comfort where there are no days and years.

Think how he must be wishing that we could know today how nothing but our sadness can really pass away.

And think of him as living in the hearts of those he touched…for nothing loved is ever lost –and he (my Keith) was loved so much.

By: E. Brenneman
 

Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

Share with God's people who are in need.

Practice hospitality.

~Romans 12: 11-13

"We keep in our hearts FOREVER

the memories of those

we have LOVED."

LIFE IS A JOURNEY

Life is a journey

of sweetness and sorrow,

Of yesterday's memories

and hopes for tomorrow,

Of pathways we choose

and detours we face

With patience and humor,

courage and grace,

Of joys that we've shared

and of people we've met

Who have touched us in ways

we will never forget.

LONELINESS

The most broadly accepted definition of loneliness is the distress that results from discrepancies between ideal and perceived social relationships. This so-called cognitive discrepancy perspective makes it clear that loneliness is not synonymous with being alone, nor does being with others guarantee protection from feelings of loneliness. Rather, loneliness is the distressing feeling that occurs when one’s social relationships are perceived as being less satisfying than what is desired. This entry describes how loneliness is conceived and measured; how loneliness is mentally represented; how loneliness influences thoughts, feelings, and behaviors; and consequences of loneliness for health and wellbeing.

Conceptualizations-Despite general agreement over its definition, loneliness is conceived in a number of ways. One theory of loneliness holds that deficiencies in specific provisions of social relationships contribute to specific types of lonely feelings. For instance, lack of engagement in a social network is associated with feelings of social loneliness such as aimlessness, boredom, and exclusion. On the other hand, absence of a reliable attachment figure (e.g., spouse) is associated with feelings of emotional loneliness such as anxiety, desolation, and insecurity. More recent studies have shown that these types of lonely feelings are not uniquely associated with certain relationships, however. Marriage, for example, serves a broad social integrative function that diminishes feelings of both social and emotional loneliness, especially for women. Another theory holds that loneliness arises from social skill deficits and personality traits that impair the formation and maintenance of social relationships. Social skills research has shown that loneliness is associated with more self-focus, poorer partner attention skills, a lack of self-disclosure to friends, especially among females, and less participation in organized groups, especially among males. Personality research has shown that loneliness is associated with shyness, neuroticism, and depressive symptoms, as well as low self-esteem, pessimism, low conscientiousness, and disagreeableness. Associations among these characteristics have sometimes led to conceptual confusion between loneliness and depressed affect, poor social support, introversion, and/or neuroticism. Research indicates, however, that loneliness, although related, is independent of these characteristics both conceptually and operationally (i.e., the measurement tools for each of these characteristics are relatively specific for the corresponding traits). Moreover, the effects of loneliness on physical health and physiology are generally not explained by the behavioral and personality characteristics with which loneliness is associated, indicating that loneliness may be a unique psychosocial risk factor whose effects are distinguishable from some combination of poor social support, depression, and personality traits. Loneliness is aversive, but that is not necessarily a bad thing. An evolutionary conceptualization of loneliness holds that the aversive feelings are adaptive because they motivate the repair or replacement of social connections. Human offspring are born to the longest period of utter dependency of any species. Simple reproduction, therefore, is not sufficient to ensure that one’s genes make it into the gene pool. For one’s genes to make it to the gene pool, these offspring must survive to reproduce. Social connections and the behaviors they engender (e.g., cooperation, altruism, alliances) enhance the survival of the parents and, consequently, their children are more likely to survive to reproduce.

In early human history, hunter-gatherers whose genetic predisposition encouraged social/family “togetherness” and the offering of food and protection to mother and child would have increased offspring survival odds, whereas hunter-gatherers who felt no compunction about ignoring social/family bonds would have reduced the survival odds of their offspring. The latter may have survived to have another family, however, suggesting that no single genetic predisposition is superior. The consequences of such an evolutionary scenario would be heritable individual differences in loneliness, and adoption and twin studies among children and adults support this view. Approximately 48% of the variability in loneliness levels can be explained by inherited tendencies to experience loneliness.

The genes underlying loneliness do not act alone. Interactions with the environment bring the expression of an individual’s genes to the fore. The genetic biases that account for people’s differing sensitivity to the social pain of isolation or rejection, and/or their differing propensity to extract social “nutrients” from the environment, help to determine whether a given social context will dampen or intensify a tendency to feel lonely.

Some social circumstances are fairly uniformly associated with an increased tendency toward loneliness. Marriage is associated with the lowest levels of loneliness; loneliness is greater among those who have experienced divorce and widowhood. Situational factors that influence the availability of social opportunities are also associated with loneliness (e.g., geographic relocation). Social relationship quality is a more potent predictor of loneliness than the existence or quantity of social contacts, however. Relationships that offer security, comfort, trust, and pleasure, even if interactions are relatively infrequent, are much more effective at preventing feelings of loneliness than are more friends or more frequent interactions that feel to meet these standards. Even in marriage, , the quality of the relationship determines the degree of protection against loneliness.

Measurement -Lonely feelings are typically measured using a variety of items that assess the degree to which respondents endorse thoughts and feelings characteristic of loneliness (e.g., “I feel alone,” “I lack companionship,” “I do not feel part of a group of friends”). The result is a continuum in which the intensity and/or frequency of lonely feelings can range from very low (i.e., equivalent to feelings of social connectedness) to very high. On average, lonely feelings are low to moderate in the general population with only a relatively small percentage of individuals experiencing intense lonely feelings at any given time. When asked simply whether or not they are currently feeling lonely, approximately twenty percent of the population will respond affirmatively.

Social cognition. Mental representations.- An axiom in the study of human relationships is that we are highly social animals.. A sense of social connectedness is as vital to our survival as food and drink, yet is so taken for granted that only the absence of that sense has been assigned a unique term. This suggests that “not lonely” is the normal or default state required to maintain a healthy and balanced life and that loneliness is the problematic state. Indeed, people’s mental representations of their sociality conform to the importance of social bonds at every level of human endeavor. Studies of loneliness have shown that mental representations of our connections with others are characterized by individual, relational, and collective dimensions. These dimensions correspond to individual, relational, and collective selves posited by theories of the self. At the individual level, feelings of isolation and low self-worth are precluded when people feel comfortable with themselves and their fit in a social world. At the relational level, feelings of interpersonal connectedness are fostered in close dyadic relationships. At the collective level, feelings of group identification and cohesion satisfy a need for belonging. This three dimensional representation of loneliness holds in young adults and across gender and racial/ethnic lines in middle age adults, suggesting a universality to this representational structure of the social self.

Mental processes and behaviors.-Loneliness can be experienced acutely, as a temporary state that resolves when life circumstances resolve (e.g., new friends are made in a new community), and chronically, as a trait-like characteristic that results from an interaction between life circumstances and a genetic bias to experience feelings of isolation. Once loneliness is triggered, it generates a defensive form of thinking—a “lonely” social cognition—that can make every social molehill look like a mountain. Lonely people tend to be more anxious, pessimistic, and fearful of negative evaluation than people who feel good about their social lives, and are therefore more likely to act and relate to others in ways that are anxious, negative, and self-protective, which leads paradoxically to self-defeating behaviors. For instance, lonely and non-lonely individuals were equally likely to cooperate with a stranger at the outset and during the early trials of a prisoner’s dilemma game in which the stranger was playing a tit-for-tat strategy (i.e., cooperation met with cooperation, betrayal with betrayal). This strategy resulted in an increase in cooperation across trials among non-lonely subjects but not among lonely subjects. Similarly, self-reports showed that, relative to non-lonely individuals, lonely individuals were less trusting of others and believed that they were less trusted by others. In essence, lonely individuals exercised self-protective behaviors that prevented them from enjoying the positive, cooperative interactions that were theirs to be had. Not only do the lonely contribute to their own negative reality, but others begin to view them more negatively and begin to act accordingly.

One study showed that individuals told that an opposite gender partner they were about to meet was lonely, subsequently rated that partner as being less sociable. The individuals primed to have these expectations also behaved toward their partners in a less sociable manner than they did toward partners whom they expected to be non-lonely. Once this negative feedback loop starts rolling, the cycle of defensive behavior and negative social results spins even further downhill. The lonely not only react more intensely to everyday hassles (e.g., misplacing or losing things), they experience less of an uplift from everyday perks (e.g., meeting one’s responsibilities) than the non-lonely. In essence, lonely individuals inhabit an inhospitable social orbit that repels others or elicits their negative responses. Even when they succeed in eliciting nurturing support from a friend or loved one, they tend to perceive the exchange as less than fulfilling. Social rejection is a potent cause of loneliness, and the lonely tend to have a heightened sensitivity to cues of social rejection and acceptance in their environment.. For instance, after being presented with autobiographical information (i.e., ostensible diary entries) about a number of individuals, lonely participants remembered a greater proportion of information related to interpersonal or collective social ties than did non-lonely participants. It made no difference whether the detail was emotionally positive or negative. In another study, participants asked to “relive” a rejection experience, a procedure that increases feelings of loneliness, showed greater attention to emotional vocal tone (i.e., a cue for social rejection or acceptance) in a subsequent task than did participants asked to relive more neutral experiences. Greater attention to social cues does not ensure greater social skills, however. Lonely individuals are less accurate than non-lonely people at decoding facial and postural expressions of emotion, for instance. A lack of correspondence between attention and accuracy in responses to social cues has also been demonstrated in a brain imaging study of lonely and non-lonely young adults. When presented with equally arousing positive and negative pictures of scenes and objects (nonsocial stimuli) and people (social stimuli), activation in a set of brain regions often associated with visual attention and perspective taking varied in response to negative social (in contrast to matched nonsocial) pictures. Relative to the non-lonely, lonely individuals showed greater visual cortical activation (consistent with greater attention to the negative social than nonsocial pictures) and less activation of the temporo-parietal junction (consistent with less attention devoted to the other person’s perspective). Another set of brain regions, associated with reward systems (i.e., ventral striatum), was found to be down-regulated in lonely, compared to non-lonely, individuals when viewing positive social (in contrast to matched nonsocial) pictures – results consistent with the idea that lonely individuals derive less pleasure than non-lonely individuals from viewing positive social circumstances. This latter result may bear on the finding that lonely individuals find positive social interactions during the course of a normal day less satisfying than non-lonely individuals.

So although people may become lonely because of a genetic disposition coupled with an unfortunate situation, they remain lonely because of the manner in which they and others think. One might expect that a lonely person, hungry to fulfill unmet social needs, would be very accepting of a new acquaintance. However, when confronted with an opportunity to form a social connection, studies show that the lonely are actually far less accepting of potential new friends than are the non-lonely. Similarly, in other studies, lonely students were less responsive to their classmates during class discussions, and provided less appropriate and less effective feedback than non-lonely students. Lonely undergraduates also held more negative perceptions of their roommates than did the non-lonely, and this perceptual divide widened as one moved from roommates to suitemates to floor mates to dorm mates.

Time also plays a role in constructing negative “realities.” Researchers asked participants to interact with a friend, and to rate the quality of the relationship and the communication immediately, after watching a videotape of the same social exchange, a few weeks later after being reminded of the interaction, and after again watching the videotape. At all four measurement points, lonely individuals rated relationship quality more negatively than did non-lonely individuals. Interestingly, the further in time they were removed from the social exchange, the more negatively they rated it. Thus, the more time that passed, the more the objective reality succumbed to the “reality” constructed by the lonely individual’s negative social cognition.

The loneliness continuum revisited - When loneliness is considered on a continuum that ranges from not at all to very, it is easy to assume that social cognitive and behavioral characteristics differ in degree commensurate with the degree of loneliness. However, individuals who experience few or no feelings of loneliness are characterized by a unique and adaptive profile that is not simply the opposite of the profile of highly lonely individuals. This was evident in a study of three groups of young adults selected from a sample of more than 2,500 undergraduate students to represent loneliness scores in the bottom 20% (low loneliness), middle 20% (average loneliness), and top 20% (high loneliness). Individuals low in loneliness differed from individuals average or high in loneliness on four of five personality dimensions (more outgoing, agreeable, conscientious, and non-neurotic), and scored higher in optimism, positive mood, social skills, self-esteem, and social support, and lower in anger, anxiety, shyness, fear of negative evaluation, and negativity. However, individuals average or high in loneliness were indistinguishable on these scales. These results do not mean that those who are low in loneliness possess characteristics that render them immune to ever feeling lonely. Rather, when individuals feel socially connected, they express a constellation of states and dispositions that enriches their lives not only quantitatively but also qualitatively relative to individuals who are average or high in loneliness. That is, there seems to be something special about being and feeling socially connected. This interpretation is supported by data from a hypnosis study in which young adults were made to feel lonely and then socially connected (or vice versa, in a counterbalanced order) by recalling a time when they felt rejected and like they didn’t belong, or accepted and like they belonged.

Measures of affect, social factors, and even personality traits mirrored and tracked the acute changes in loneliness induced by the hypnotic manipulation. Participants induced to feel socially connected, compared to lonely, reported significantly less negative mood, higher self-esteem and optimism, better social skills, social support, and sociability, greater extraversion and agreeableness, and less shyness, anxiety, anger, fear of negative evaluation, and neuroticism. This experimental study suggests that loneliness has features of a central trait—central in the sense that it influences how individuals construe themselves and others, and by extension, how others view and act toward these individuals. Thus, although objective social circumstances (e.g., bereavement, ostracism) can modify feelings of loneliness, subjective social factors operate to keep people in a lonely or socially connected state of being. Whereas lonely individuals think about and behave toward others in a way that tends to reinforce a isolated existence, socially connected individuals hold a more favorable view of others that in turn tends to reinforce their being perceived and treated positively.

Health consequences-As this profile reveals, when loneliness takes over someone’s life, they become trapped in a feedback loop of negative expectations, interpretations, and interactions. The challenge is reframing and redirecting social perceptions so that a sense of meaningful social connectedness can be established or recovered. Fortunately, the same feedback loop that allows individuals to construct a negative, subjective reality can be redirected to construct a better objective reality. This could be particularly important given the health consequences of loneliness. Loneliness has been associated with alterations in the functioning of the cardiovascular, endocrine, and immune systems. A recent theoretical model of the correlates and consequences of loneliness posits that age-related declines in physiological resilience are accelerated by chronic loneliness. Accordingly, in younger adults, loneliness has been associated with early markers of disease processes (e.g., subtle alterations in blood pressure control mechanisms), whereas in older adults, loneliness has been associated with frank disease (e.g., elevated blood pressure) and dysregulation across multiple physiological systems (e.g., impaired immune functioning and elevated levels of stress hormones). Clearly, the costs of loneliness are too great to ignore.

Louise C. Hawkley & John T. Cacioppo

Center for Cognitive & Social Neuroscience & the Department of Psychology

University of Chicago

See Also: Attachment theory, Need for belonging, Self-monitoring and relationships, Social isolation, Trust,

Further Readings



Boomsma, D. I., Willemsen, G., Dolan, C. V., Hawkley, L. C., & Cacioppo, J. T. (2005).

Genetic and environmental contributions to loneliness in adults: The Netherlands Twin

Register Study. Behavior Genetics, 35, 745-752.



Brewer, M.B., & Gardner, W. (1996). Who is this ‘‘we’’? Levels of collective identity and self

representations. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 71, 83–93.



Cacioppo, J. T., Hawkley, L. C., Ernst, J. M., Burleson, M. H., Berntson, G. G., Nouriani, B., &

Spiegel, D. (2006). Loneliness within a nomological net: An evolutionary perspective.

Journal of Research in Personality, 40, 1054-1085.



Dykstra, P. A., & Fokkema, T. (2007). Social and emotional loneliness among divorced and

married men and women: Comparing the deficit and cognitive perspectives. Basic and

Applied Social Psychology, 29, 1-12.



Epley, N., Waytz, A., & Cacioppo, J. T. (2007). On seeing human: A three-factor theory of

anthropomorphism. Psychological Bulletin, 114, 864-886.

Ernst, J. M., & Cacioppo, J. T. (1998). Lonely hearts: Psychological perspectives on loneliness.

Applied & Preventive Psychology, 8, 1-22.



Gardner, W. L., Pickett, C. L., Jeffries, V., and Knowles, M. (2005). On the outside looking in:

Loneliness and social monitoring. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 31, 1549-

1560.

Hawkley, L. C., & Cacioppo, J. T. (2007). Aging and loneliness: Downhill quickly? Current

Directions in Psychological Science, 16, 187-191.



Peplau, L. A., & Perlman, D. (1982). Perspectives on loneliness. In L. A. Peplau & D. Perlman

(Eds.), Loneliness: A Sourcebook of Current Theory, Research and Therapy (pp. 1-20).

New York: John Wiley & Sons.



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Weiss, R. S. (1973). Loneliness: The experience of emotional and social isolation. Cambridge,

MA: MIT Press.

Moving DAY for the McAlisters...& Getting on with our Lives

The moving van pulled into my driveway around 6:00 a.m. this morning to load up all of my in-laws belongings and they’ll be heading towards Northport, Alabama about noon today arriving at their new patio home that is located about 2 miles from their daughter/my sister-in-law by mid-afternoon.

I know it’s going to be an adjustment for all of us including my chocolate Lab Ginger but I know in my heart that it is what is best for the McAlisters, Kayron and me. They’ll do much better being closer to Kayron and her family.

The weather was so beautiful this weekend. I'm excited about it being the same the remainder of the week. I didn’t get to enjoy it on Saturday due to spending 6 hours at Reinhardt Toyota Motors having Keith’s 2000 Tundra truck serviced. For sentimental reasons, I want to keep his truck and with it only having 164,000 + miles on it I figure it will last another 164,000 + as long as I keep it serviced, which just didn’t get done the last 3 years. You can always use a truck when you’re trying to maintain 20 acres of land.

I attended worship service at Vaughn Park yesterday morning and ate lunch out with my brothers Mark, Milton and my sister-in-law Linda Slauson. All afternoon, Ginger and I stayed outside enjoying the spring-like gorgeous weather. I raked up the leaves out of Ginger’s large dog pen burning them and cleaned her dog house since I know she’ll be spending more time outside now since her grandmother and granddaddy have moved away to their new Northport home.

My next project is renovating the first floor of my home where the McAlisters lived for 4 years and 3 months, which will take awhile to do. But I love to decorate so I know I’m going to enjoy doing this. I want to turn this floor into a warm place for my family and friends to stay when they come to visit me. Keith and I built our home so we could entertain, which we did but with his illness the last 3 years we weren’t able to do as much as we hoped to do. He loved to have folks come up to visit our place.  So my hope and intentions are to carry out our dreams.  I just wish my Keith were still here to share in helping me make them come true! Happy Valentine's Day.

Love, Cheryl

"KEITH HAS BEEN GONE TWO MONTHS TODAY"

It’s been 2 months since Keith’s death and I’ve missed him each and every waking moment of the last 60 days! I’ve had much to do to keep me busy during the daylight hours accomplishing many personal/business matters the last 30 days but when nighttime arrives especially so early this time of year that has been my worse time, when you’re totally by yourself. But I am so thankful for my “Ginger”, our chocolate Labrador who greets me each weekday afternoon as I arrive home from work. She’s adjusting too like all of us but I can say that she has been such good company to me even though she can’t talk I understand her and she understands me. She is so bright and with her keen sense of awareness of everything surrounding her and me she knows exactly when I’m upset and does an excellent job in her own way to try to comfort me. She makes me smile!

I remember back in September of 1985 when my mom died after her 4 year battle with colon cancer how my dad would tell me and my four brothers (Milton, Gary, Mark & Tim Slauson) how when nightfall came and all of your family who checks on you during the day is home with their own families after the sun goes down and you’re all by yourself in a big house it’s "TOUGH"! Now I know first-hand how he must have felt. Since then Daddy lost two more wives-Eleanor Jamieson Slauson died of cancer in March 1999; Helen Gilliland Slauson died of dementia in Feb 2010- both long-term illnesses.

Last weekend all of my boys came home for a visit, which I always love. Justin and Jared drove down from the Nashville arriving Friday night and Bret/Crystal left Mobile early Saturday arriving shortly after Jason who came up from Montgomery. For lunch we all ate a bowl of the White Chili (Chicken) that I put in the Crockpot early morning to cook. That’s one of their favorites to eat. The weather couldn’t have been more perfect with sunny/clear skies and 70 degree temperature it was gorgeous so we spent much of our time together outdoors. My black Lab grand pups, Huck and Miller who are Bret/Crystal and Jason’s baby dogs have doubled in size since I saw them last New Year’s Eve Day both now weighing over 16 pounds.

I’ve had several longtime girl friends and family members who have called me the last 30 days arranging lunch dates and dinners together, which I’ve enjoyed and appreciate so much. My church small group started back meeting at my house last Sunday and a couple of Keith’s colleagues drove up from Biloxi spending the night staying over Monday in Montgomery meeting with several of Keith’s clients for annual reviews at our office building.

My in-laws have made the decision to move out of our basement floor to Northport, Alabama so they can be closer to their daughter, my sister-in-law. They’ve already purchased a patio home about 2 miles from Kayron’s home. I knew that this would happen in time but a little bit sooner than I expected. I know it will be best for them and Kayron so she can see about their needs as they age. There is really nothing holding them in the Prattville area now that Keith is not here. I know they’ll miss living on our 20 beautiful wooded acres. Martha told me the other night as we talked about how when she and Damon moved here the day after Thanksgiving 2006 that they thought they had died and gone to heaven since they were raised in a rural area of Piedmont. They both have been so much help to Keith and I especially the last 4 years and three months and I appreciate everything that they’ve done for us. Ginger and I will miss them both but this is what Keith predicted and wanted for them upon his death. I do feel for them having to make such a life change at their ages while still grieving about the loss of their only son but know it will be best that they live closer to Kayron and her family. I’m sure in time they’ll learn to adjust and will be just fine. Kayron still has a 14 year old Mattie who is very active in playing soccer and basketball, so now they’ll be able to watch her play her sports the next several years, which will keep them busy. Also, Martha’s nephew Tim Davis and his family have recently moved from Albertville to the Northport area so they’ll be able to have contact with them. Tim and Keith grew up together and were like brothers, so Tim is like another son to the McAlister’s. Kayron is even looking forward to getting to know Tim better since as children she was 10 years younger than he and Keith. Tim is a very funny guy with his dry-sense of humor I can already seeing Martha laughing a lot whenever she gets to be around him!

Trying to just take one day at a time….even though I’m finding it’s easier to say it or tell others to do it than actually do it MYself!

Love, Cheryl

IF I HAD MY LIVE TO LIVE OVER - by Erma Bombeck

(written after she found out she was dying from cancer)....sent to me from my friend Sandi...

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.
I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, 'Later. Now go get washed up for dinner.' There would have been more 'I love you's. More 'I'm sorry's.'

But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute ... look at it and really see it ... live it and never give it back. STOP SWEATING THE SMALL STUFF!!!

Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what

Instead, let's cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us.

GOD'S CAKE

I received this from my friend Dawn today and wanted to share it with you.

GOD'S CAKE

This is about the best thing I've ever read as an explanation. We all wonder many, many times over WHY?

Sometimes we wonder, "What did I do to deserve this?" or "Why did this happen to me?" Here is a wonderful explanation!

A daughter is telling her mother how everything is going wrong; she's failing algebra, her boyfriend broke up with her; and her best friend is moving away.

Meanwhile, her mother is baking a cake and asks her daughter if she would like a snack, and the daughter says, "Absolutely, Mom, I love your cake."

"Here, have some cooking oil," her mother offers.

"Yuck!" says her daughter.

"How about a couple raw eggs?"

"Gross, Mom!"

"Would you like some flour then? Or maybe baking soda?"

"Mom, those are all yucky!"

To which the mother replies: "Yes, all those things seem bad all by themselves. But when they are put together in the right way, they make a wonderfully delicious cake!"

God works the same way. Many times we wonder why He would let us go through such bad and difficult times. But God knows that when He puts these things all in His order, they always work for good! We just have to trust Him and, eventually, they will all make something wonderful!

God is crazy about you. He sends you flowers every spring and a sunrise every morning. Whenever you want to talk, He'll listen. He can live anywhere in the universe, and He chose your heart.

THE AMAZING CUCUMBER

(This information was in The New York Times several weeks ago as part of their "Spotlight on the Home" series that highlighted creative and fanciful ways to solve common problems.

1. Cucumbers contain most of the vitamins you need every day, just one cucumber contains Vitamin B1, Vitamin B2, Vitamin B 3, Vitamin B5, Vitamin B6, Folic Acid, Vitamin C, Calcium, Iron, Magnesium, Phosphorus, Potassium and Zinc.

2. Feeling tired in the afternoon, put down the caffeinated soda and pick up a cucumber. Cucumbers are a good source of B Vitamins and Carbohydrates that can provide that quick pick-me-up that can last for hours.

3. Tired of your bathroom mirror fogging up after a shower? Try rubbing a cucumber slice along the mirror, it will eliminate the fog and provide a soothing, spa-like fragrance.

4. Are grubs and slugs ruining your planting beds? Place a few slices in a small pie tin and your garden will be free of pests all season long. The chemicals in the cucumber react with the aluminum to give off a scent undetectable to humans but drive garden pests crazy and make them flee the area.

5. Looking for a fast and easy way to remove cellulite before going out or to the pool? Try rubbing a slice or two of cucumbers along your problem area for a few minutes, the phytochemicals in the cucumber cause the collagen in your skin to tighten, firming up the outer layer and reducing the visibility of cellulite. Works great on wrinkles too!!!


6. Want to avoid a hangover or terrible headache? Eat a few cucumber slices before going to bed and wake up refreshed and headache free. Cucumbers contain enough sugar, B vitamins and electrolytes to replenish essential nutrients the body lost, keeping everything in equilibrium, avoiding both a hangover and headache!! 7. Looking to fight off that afternoon or evening snacking binge? Cucumbers have been used for centuries and often used by European trappers, traders and explores for quick meals to thwart off starvation.

8. Have an important meeting or job interview and you realize that you don't have enough time to polish your shoes? Rub a freshly cut cucumber over the shoe, its chemicals will provide a quick and durable shine that not only looks great but also repels water.

9. Out of WD 40 and need to fix a squeaky hinge? Take a cucumber slice and rub it along the problematic hinge, and voila, the squeak is gone!

10. Stressed out and don't have time for a massage, facial or visit to the spa?  Cut up an entire cucumber and place it in a boiling pot of water, the chemicals and nutrients from the cucumber with react with the boiling water and be released in the steam, creating a soothing, relaxing aroma that has been shown to reduce stress in new mothers and college students during final exams.

11. Just finish a business lunch and realize you don't have gum or mints? Take a slice of cucumber and press it to the roof of your mouth with your tongue for 30 seconds to eliminate bad breath, the phytochemcials will kill the bacteria in your mouth responsible for causing bad breath.

12. Looking for a 'green' way to clean your faucets, sinks or stainless steel? Take a slice of cucumber and rub it on the surface you want to clean, not only will it remove years of tarnish and bring back the shine, but it won't leave streaks and won't harm you fingers or fingernails while you clean.

13. Using a pen and made a mistake? Take the outside of the cucumber and slowly use it to erase the pen writing, also works great on crayons and markers that the kids have used to decorate the walls!!

Warning regarding BEST BUY'S Return Policy

I received the following email from my friend Darlyne Rolph regarding her unpleasant experience on trying to return merchandise to BEST BUY......

From: "darlyne@ronnierolph.com" darlyne@ronnierolph.com
Sent: Tue, December 22, 2009 1:01:11 PM
Subject: Best Buy return policy

WARNING TO ALL---I DIDN'T KNOW THIS BUT I DO NOW

Wow - with Christmas coming up, you'll want to be sure you you know the return policies. The link at the end is true -crazy!

BEST BUY, MY FOOT

Best Buy has some bad policies....

Normally, I would not share this with others, however, since this could happen to you or your friends , I decided to share it. If you purchase something from, Wal-Mart, Sears etc. and you return the item with the receipt they will give you your money back if you paid cash, or credit your account if paid by plastic.

Well, I purchased a GPS for my car, a Tom Tom XL.S from 'Best Buy'. They have a policy that it must be returned within 14 days for a refund!

So after 4 days I returned it in the original box with all the items in the box, with paper work and cords all wrapped in the plastic. Just as I received it, including the receipt.
I explained to the lady at the return desk I did not like the way it could not find store names. The lady at the refund desk said, there is a 15% restock fee, for items returned. I said no one told me that. I said how much would that be. She said it goes by the price of the item. It will be $45.00 Dollars for you. I said, all your going to do is walk over and place it back on the shelf then charge me $45.00 of my money for restocking? She said that's the store policy. I said if more people were aware of it they would not buy anything here! If I bought a $2000.00 computer or TV and returned it I would be charged $300.00 dollars restock fee? She said yes, 15%.

I said OK, just give me my money minus the restock fee.

She said, since the item is o ver $200.00 dollars, she can't give me my money back!!!

Corporate has to and they will mail you a check in 7 to ten days.!! I said 'WHAT?!'

It's my money!! I paid in cash! I want to buy a different brand..Now I have to wait 7 to 10 days. She said well, our policy is on the back of your receipt.

I said, do you read the front or back of your receipt? She said well, the front! I said so do I, I want to talk to the Manager!

So the manager comes over, I explained everything to him, and he said, well, sir they should of told you about the policy when you got the item. I said, No one, has ever told me about the check refund or restock fee, whenever I bought items from computers to TVs from Best Buy. The only thing they ever discussed was the worthless extended warranty program. He said Well, I can give you corporate phone number.

I called corporate. The guy said, well, I'm not supposed to do this but I can give you a 45.00 dollar gift card and you can use it at Best Buy. I told him if I bought something and returned it, you would charge me a restock fee on the item and then send me a check for the remaining 3 dollars. You can keep your gift card, I'm never shopping in Best Buy ever again, and if I would of been smart, I would of charged the whole thing on my credit card! Then I would of canceled the transaction.

I would of gotten all my money back including your stupid fees! He didn't say a word!

I informed him that I was going to e-mail my friends and give them a heads up on this stores policy, as they don't tell you about all the little caveats.

So please pass this on. It may save your friends from having a bad experience of shopping at Best Buy.

It's true! read it for yourself!!

Best Buys return policy

http://www.bestbuy.com/site/olspage.jsp?type=page&contentId=1117177044087&id=cat12098

LETTER FROM JESUS ABOUT CHRISTMAS....

I received the following as an email from a former co-worker, thought it was very good and wanted to share it with you.

It has come to my attention that many of you are upset that folks are taking My name out of the season.

How I personally feel about this celebration can probably be most easily understood by those of you who have been blessed with children of your own. I don't care what you call the day. If you want to celebrate My birth, just GET ALONG AND LOVE ONE ANOTHER.

Now, having said that let Me go on. If it bothers you that the town in which you live doesn't allow a scene depicting My birth, then just get rid of a couple of Santas and snowmen and put in a small Nativity scene on your own front lawn If all My followers did that there wouldn't be any need for such a scene on the town square because there would be many of them all around town.

Stop worrying about the fact that people are calling the tree a holiday tree, instead of a Christmas tree. It was I who made all trees. You can remember Me anytime you see any tree. Decorate a grape vine if you wish: I actually spoke of that one in a teaching, explaining who I am in relation to you and what each of our tasks were. If you have forgotten that one, look up John 15: 1 - 8.

If you want to give Me a present in remembrance of My birth here is my wish list. Choose something from it:

1. Instead of writing protest letters objecting to the way My birthday is being celebrated, write letters of love and hope to soldiers away from home. They are terribly afraid and lonely this time of year. I know, they tell Me all the time.

2. Visit someone in a nursing home. You don't have to know them personally. They just need to know that someone cares about them.

3. Instead of writing the President complaining about the wording on the cards his staff sent out this year, why don't you write and tell him that you'll be praying for him and his family this year. Then follow up... It will be nice hearing from you again.

4. Instead of giving your children a lot of gifts you can't afford and they don't need, spend time with them. Tell them the story of My birth, and why I came to live with you down here. Hold them in your arms and remind them that I love them.

5 Pick someone that has hurt you in the past and forgive him or her.

6. Did you know that someone in your town will attempt to take their own life this season because they feel so alone and hopeless? Since you don't know who that person is, try giving everyone you meet a warm smile; it could make the difference.

7. Instead of nit picking about what the retailer in your town calls the holiday, be patient with the people who work there. Give them a warm smile and a kind word. Even if they aren't allowed to wish you a "Merry Christmas" that doesn't keep you from wishing them one. Then stop shopping there on Sunday. If the store didn't make so much money on that day they'd close and let their employees spend the day at home with their families

8. If you really want to make a difference, support a missionary-- especially one who takes My love and Good News to those who have never heard My name.

9. Here's a good one. There are individuals and whole families in your town who not only will have no "Christmas" tree, but neither will they have any presents to give or receive. If you don't know them, buy some food and a few gifts and give them to the Salvation Army or some other charity which believes in Me and they will make the delivery for you.

10. Finally, if you want to make a statement about your belief in and loyalty to Me, then behave like a Christian. Don't do things in secret that you wouldn't do in My presence. Let people know by your actions that you are one of mine.

Don't forget; I am God and can take care of Myself. Just love Me and do what I have told you to do. I'll take care of all the rest. Check out the list above and get to work; time is short. I'll help you, but the ball is now in your court. And do have a most blessed Christmas with all those whom you love and remember :

I LOVE YOU, JESUS

A POEM ABOUT OUR GIRLFRIENDS...Motto for 2010

Someone will always be prettier.


Someone will always be smarter.


Some of their houses will be bigger..


Some will drive a better car.


Their children will do better in school.


And their husband will fix more things around the house.


So let it go, and love you and your circumstances.


Think about it!


The prettiest woman in the world can have hell in her heart.


The most highly favored woman on your job may be unable to have children.


The richest woman you know, she's got the car, the house, the clothes~ might be lonely.


And the Word says, 'If I have not Love, I am nothing.' So, again, love you.


Love who you are.


Look in the mirror in the morning and smile and say,


'I am too Blessed to be Stressed and too Anointed, to be Disappointed!'


'Winners make things happen~~ Losers let things happen.'


Be 'Blessed' Ladies and pass this on to encourage another woman.


'To the world you might be one person, to me you are special!

WHY DID JESUS FOLD THE NAPKIN?

This was emailed to me this afternoon from my husband's assistant Florence Eddy.  I hated to bear the bad news early this morning as I was dropping Keith off by his office that we found out from Keith's oncologist yesterday afternoon (11/30/2009) that his CANCER IS ACTIVE AGAIN!


Why did Jesus fold the linen burial cloth after His resurrection?


I never noticed this....


The Gospel of John (20:7) tells us that the napkin, which was placed over the face of Jesus, was not just thrown aside like the grave clothes.


The Bible takes an entire verse to tell us that the napkin was neatly folded, and was placed separate from the grave clothes.


Early Sunday morning, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene came to the tomb and found that the stone had been rolled away from the entrance.


She ran and found Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one whom Jesus loved. She said, 'They have taken the Lord's body out of the tomb, and I don't know where they have put him!'


Peter and the other disciple ran to the tomb to see. The other disciple outran Peter and got there first. He stooped and looked in and saw the linen cloth lying there, but he didn't go in.


Then Simon Peter arrived and went inside. He also noticed the linen wrappings lying there, while the cloth that had covered Jesus' head was folded up and lying to the side.

Was that important? Absolutely!


Is it really significant? Yes!


In order to understand the significance of the folded napkin, you have to understand a little bit about Hebrew tradition of that day. The folded napkin had to do with the Master and Servant, and every Jewish boy knew this tradition.

When the servant set the dinner table for the master, he made sure that it was exactly the way the master wanted it…

The table was furnished perfectly, and then the servant would wait, just out of sight, until the master had finished eating, and the servant would not dare touch that table, until the master was finished.

Now if the master were done eating, he would rise from the table, wipe his fingers, his mouth, and clean his beard, and would wad up that napkin and toss it onto the table.

The servant would then know to clear the table. For in those days, the wadded napkin meant, 'I'm done'.

But if the master got up from the table, and folded his napkin, and laid it beside his plate, the servant would not dare touch the table, because..........

The folded napkin meant, 'I'm coming back!' He is Coming Back